but since this has become a discussion about my post and whether or not it and I am fucked up–here it is. Let’s go to town.

The main points:

1. I never should have made this post, I had no right to.
2. I am extremely defensive, and that defensiveness has allowed me to make it all about me.
3. I am extremely defensive and that defensiveness has allowed me to make statements that are bigoted and transphobic.

I disagree strongly with the first point. My reasons why are listed in comments. Points two and three–holy fucking JESUS YES. I don’t know as if I could become any more defensive without cracking in half. And as such, I have 100% fallen into the trap of transphobia, saying horrible things and having a dismissive attitude because of that defensiveness. this is the one good thing, however, as I feel like in the future, people can point to this conversation and say, Look–THIS IS HOW DEFENSIVE POSTURING HAPPENS. I have not handled it in any conducive or meaningful way–I have done everything I have critisized other people for doing–and I think that it is SO good that it happened if only for that reason alone. Yes, guess what–I FUCK UP TOO and in a nice big gloriously ugly way online for the whole world to see. And no, i don’t feel happy about it, and no, I am not feeling like “i’ll get over it” and no i’m not feeling like “oh yay, I got to learn something today!” and yes, every last minute of this SUCKS ASS. But I will learn and I will get over my precious feelings and self.

And the one good thing here is that if I can do it, all the other people out there can to.