ok, i’ve had vicious profanity laced rants, more academic (although no less profanity laced) rants and letters to young black girls written. I erased them all.
And decided that this is all I’m going to say about John RACIST DICK SCUM Mayer:
When a dude says that his dick is white supremacist dick (insinuating that he does not find black women attractive enough to fuck) and makes all sorts of gendered racialized fucked up statements about black women and white women ON A MAJOR MEDIA SITE–You don’t blow that shit off with “ZOMG he’s such a troll, ignore him.”
Especially after you just spent a month emailing me, texting me, facebooking me and writing posts about the sin that is Tim Tebow “using public airwaves” to spew his anti-women hate.
And especially ESPECIALLY not after you stop and consider that there’s a whole slew of young girls that are Mayer’s LISTENERS, SUPPORTERS and BUYERS that you will surely lecture and wring your hands over the next time they don’t react to violence or abuse the way you want them to.
Isn’t weird how when a black man is a sexist cock head spewing filth about black women, we all go: ZOMG black women, why are you putting up with this shit, why do you put race over gender???
But when it’s a white man that is a sexist cock head spewing filth about black women, we all go: ZOMG why are we giving troll man a stage? Just ignore him?
Filth is filth. Cock heads are cock heads. And the integrity and honor of all the black girls that bought John Mayer’s records deserve outrage, protests, email campaigns, marching in the streets and John Mayer’s teeny tiny filthy little boy white supremacist dinky (because you have to be a man to have a dick or a cock) on a goddamn plate.
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February 11th, 2010 at 4:14 pm #
Ay querida, me duele el corazon that you still interact with these women. We need to stop expecting them to treat us like humans and just move on without them. If they get with the program, fine. If not, fuck them. Feminism was never about us. It will never be about us. ¡Que viva la mujerista!
February 11th, 2010 at 4:36 pm #
oh, this is the one time where I will say something. where I absolutly will. because I know a little black girl who loves the shit out of john mayer. who has had her parents sing that song to her (you are beautiful)–and who if she doesn’t know now, will know in a few years what this cock head said about black women, about HER. and about how feminists said it was just some troll shit, don’t feed it.
she will know that I am OUTRAGED. and she will see that SHE has a right to be outraged. this is not me trying to be all “white women pay attention” you know? This is about me showing a young girl that FUCK THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS if they think they can treat you like that. I’m already hearing black girls (and just girls in general) saying they feel sorry for him and that “they knew what he meant” and we need to stop taking this so seriously. Oh, and he *cried* and he’s really really sorry.
Well–HELL NAW. And a community that stands around screaming about “WHY DIDN”T THEY DO ANYTHING??????” in the face of violence against women can bloody well have the mirror shoved in their faces.
Fuck John Mayer and Fuck evil ‘feminists’ who think blantent fucked up violent sexist imagery that USES black women for it’s own purposes is “just ignore” material. And the next time they try to ride the asses of young women and girls who defend men who beat them, or say that Rihanna deserved it or whatever, I’m gonna spit this shit in their faces.
RAGE.
February 11th, 2010 at 5:30 pm #
I guess what I am trying to say is: can’t we be angry, can’t we yell BASTA, can’t we do these things not only for ourselves as well as in the names of young girls of color WITHOUT centering white women in the conversation?
I understand where you are coming from hermana…. I am just so SICK and TIRED of engaging them. I feel like they use our anger as license to close ranks in self-righteous indignation.
white “Feminists” are racist. As much, and as loud as they claim not to be– 9.5 times out of 10, they ARE. I still haven’t gotten over all of the crocodile tears shed over the Se@l Press scandal. I can’t separate them from John Mayer- -they are all drinking from the same poisoned well of privilege. I am no longer surprised by the shit they say/do.
I understand your need to be loud– to say “This is not acceptable.” I just don’t understand how you can be surprised that these “Feminists” have reacted this way. They ARE the racist patriarchy they rail against. Maybe when they notice that all of the WOC have left the building, they will realize it. Until then, I’m not interested in engaging them.
pero si tu tienes la energia… go for it. Yo estoy candsada; cansada y HARTA.
February 11th, 2010 at 5:39 pm #
::STANDING OVATION::
See, this is why i don’t read that aforementioned racist bullshit white-centered site. i refuse to engage them, but i’ve got no problem saying that they are wrong – and frankly, evil – on every level.
February 11th, 2010 at 5:44 pm #
Oh, I’m not engaging them, mama. I’m not saying “this is why you have to pay attention” or anything like that at all. I’m saying- you are the problem. i am not surprised. I am not saying “come talk to me” I’m not saying “let me explain’– i’m saying fuck you. fuck you and your fucked up “stand around and watch” bullshit asshole behavior. I was not invested in feminism when I wrote this–I was invested in a little girl who needs to see how different groups act. Who needs to see the different ways that people excuse violence against her. John mayer said some fucked up misogynistic cock head SHIT–And I got that one. I can explain that one and why it’s fucked up. And her parents can too. and frankly, as I explained shit today, it wasn’t really that hard–there was cringing and wide eyes and immediate dismissal.
But how do you explain that people will and do stand around and watch and do NOTHING while you get your ass kicked?
I will be outraged–not because I care about feminism, but because I care about that little girl. And she will know–I am not interested in engaging THEM–but HER.
That is why I am not tired. because I am being watched by a black girl. by my girl. by my son. They are looking to see what people are saying and why I am saying. And I will NEVER be too tired to stand up and show my kids (both mine and others) where there is bullshit and why they shouldn’t put up with it.
February 11th, 2010 at 5:50 pm #
hahaha, there seems to be a differing opinion of what “engaging” means!!!! lol–aaminah–sin–seriously–when I swear and curse and stomp and scream–I’m not engaging. Im not saying I want to talk. I’m dismissing. I’m not going to talk. I’m not going to post any “but but but” comments.
I’m just saying is all. You are fuckers. Just saying.
and I’m just saying in my own space so that people who need to see it, can. you know?
February 11th, 2010 at 6:33 pm #
Fuck. You’re right: I would have said to ignore him because that’s all I can think to do with wankers like him, plus I hate his music anyway, I can’t even stand to look at his face for that matter, and while this is the vilest stuff he’s said so far, it certainly isn’t the first time he’s said vile stuff. He just seems like such an overwhelming unstoppable force of ASS that I go, well, fuck, maybe we could try depriving him of oxygen? I don’t know what else to DO with this dicksmack.
Except depriving him of oxygen would probably entail not posting about him in the first place, and anyway, my thought process above is centering (1) the dicksmack and (2) my need to see his dinky on a plate and my frustration that I’m probably going to die without ever seeing that–but NOT the girls who are getting the message that no one’s going to back them, that Mayer’s just trolling, that their feelings don’t matter.
You’re right.
February 11th, 2010 at 6:46 pm #
ok. I get it.
I got you.
I am reminded of that episode of The Simpsons where Homer has to crawl back to Mr. Burns for his job back after finding out that Marge is pregnant with Maggie.
He alters a plaque (meant to break his spirit) that reads “Don’t forget: You’re here forever” to read “Do it for her.”
Maybe my spirit wouldn’t be so tired if I had any little ones in my life.
February 11th, 2010 at 10:57 pm #
It’s really, really, really bothering me that my reaction to this is exactly the reaction I get after someone threatens me. First, affect flies out the window. Next it’s “I love love love you! Ur still an awesome person!” Finally, I come down from the high feeling embarrassed as fuck& exhausted. Cuz I know I have to go thru the process of, once again, scraping away a part of my existence that USED to make me happy. And I feel like this because I read AN INTERVIEW. *Words* on a screen triggered a fricken *survival* mechanism. Insane.
Thank you so much for bearing witness to how outrageous this is. That little girl’s really fortunate to have proof that ppl in her life are ANGRY!
I think for a lot of us it’s to the point our bodies won’t even LET us feel angry anymore.
February 12th, 2010 at 12:47 am #
“You are fuckers”
“You” meaning the Feministe bloggers and commenters?
February 12th, 2010 at 9:54 am #
So much awesomeness in such a small post.
THANK YOU!
February 12th, 2010 at 12:22 pm #
BFP, i never in any way said that you are/were engaging or trying to engage with Feministe or anyone else. Please do not lump me in with that, because i frankly found the idea that by saying they are assholes in every way = trying to engage them to be not at all what you were doing. Like i thought i stated quite clearly, despite not engaging them (or ever reading them for that matter, or reading anything where anyone has anything positive to say about them or reading anyone who links to them in a positive manner… for real, i seriously considered de-friending a bunch of POC who i otherwise respect on FB who just recently became “fans” of Feministe), i don’t think that means we can’t or shouldn’t state quite clearly that they are fucked up. Engaging means trying to have a dialogue in hopes of them changing. Well, i sure as hell have no desire whatsoever to do so, and i didn’t for one minute think that was what you were trying to do with this post either. But i agree with you (hence the standing ovation) that we MUST publicly and loudly say that John Mayer is a big jackass who should have the ever living hell beat out of him by 12 and 13 year old girls of color AND that Feministe (and some others) are arrogant white bullshit Feminists who DO NOT speak for real women and who should frankly shut their privileged mouths more often. i don’t subscribe to the “ignore them and they will go away” theory when it comes to big mouthed ass holes. i think our daughters, neices, and even our sons and nephews, NEED to hear us say that we are not giving a pass to that shit. Big difference between centering the jackass people over there and calling them out and telling them they are jackasses. Not because they could care less, but because it MEANS something to our youth and to ourselves and to each other to hear it said. So bravo, BFP. As always, you had what it takes to say what needed to be said, where those of us that need to hear it could hear it. i am always grateful to you for doing that.
February 12th, 2010 at 12:34 pm #
“And especially ESPECIALLY not after you stop and consider that there’s a whole slew of young girls that are Mayer’s LISTENERS, SUPPORTERS and BUYERS that you will surely lecture and wring your hands over the next time they don’t react to violence or abuse the way you want them to.”
Right fucking on.
February 12th, 2010 at 12:35 pm #
Aaminah and BFP, I am trying to understand what you are saying. If this is not an appropriate venue for someone who’s not up to speed on this situation, I apologize and please feel free to ignore this comment.
What I hear you saying is that commenters at Feministe said the best response to Mayer is to ignore him, and the posters allowed those comments to stand. This is unacceptable because ignoring Mayer will allow his despicable behavior to continue unchecked, resulting in further injury down the road to many WOC. Am I understanding this situation correctly?
February 12th, 2010 at 5:22 pm #
Thank you. A young black woman had the termity to say. hey, his comments really hurt me on salon.com and everyone was all trashing her as a bad bad person who needs therapy[thanks for trashing my field guys!] because she admitted that his hurtful comments were hurtful. Ok, maybe that was a whole nother rant, but he can’t just go around, insulting us while in a magazine that is practically a shrine to the white male gazeocentric beauty standard
February 13th, 2010 at 11:42 am #
Northern Neighbor, i think that what BFP is saying is quite clear, but it is not my place to speak for her. i don’t know why you’re asking me to clarify what i’m saying nor why you are attributing something to me that isn’t anything at all like what i wrote. i don’t know what happened at Feministe, beyond what BFP has stated in her post. i don’t read Feministe or have any respect for them because they are ALWAYS self-righteous privileged racist jerks. What BFP says happened there does not surprise me because as far as i can tell, that is normal Feministe behavior. The point is that it isn’t acceptable behavior.
February 14th, 2010 at 8:23 am #
Shannon–your comment took my breath away, it made me so angry and sad. and you are SOooooooo right on about saying that shit in a media source that caters to a white male gaze–
February 15th, 2010 at 3:26 pm #
You’re in good company. Margaret Cho says much the same here: David Duke Cock
February 15th, 2010 at 3:32 pm #
*blushes* bfp praised me…
February 16th, 2010 at 12:01 am #
Did the post get changed or something? Cuz when I read it, Jill was actually calling out the “ignore him” folks in the same way you do:
70 Jill 2.12.2010 at 6:35 pm
Do you read this blog? We give idiots press-time all the time. It’s part of how we point out really fucked up cultural ideas. I honestly don’t really understand the “Just ignore him” arguments — he’s an incredibly popular cultural figure who made really disgusting racist, sexist comments in a major magazine. Since when do we ignore that?
——–
I’m just curious whether she might have written this because she read you, or something like that? I guess I’m confused…
February 17th, 2010 at 7:32 pm #
yeah let’s ignore it and provide no popular critique for black women and, especially, young black girls to access in order to protect themselves from this racist venomous evil bullshit. they mean let’s ignore it because it was about black women and not white women.
February 17th, 2010 at 9:12 pm #
I’m glad we’re confronting this.
As a Black woman, it brought up some of my poor relationship choices. Also on Jezebel it was so amazing to see Black women talking about this and what they won’t put up with any longer.