How much of my life was filled up by sugar and the hunt for it, the dreams of it!

Wondering: where can i get more? how can I get more with only XX dollars? how can i divide it up to last until payday? why can’t i stop it? why does it control me? what should i get this time?

i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired, why didn’t i get some sugar before i left the house/picked up the kids/talked to W*? I can’t handle this I can’t handle this, if I just swing by third street i can get some of those….

why am i like this? why can’t i quit? why why??? ok, tomorrow is the last time. tonight is the last time. this is the last box. start over again tomorrow.

this is going to kill me…
i wonder if i could get this on sale at….

….

and now that i am throwing out the garbage from the space of my spirit…i am noticing for the first time exactly how big, how huge, the space got. ten years is a long time to be storing shit.

the empty space. is huge. overwhelming. frightening. lonely.

nothing to do in it anymore. bored.

lonely.