These past few weeks have been the low point in a cycle of depression. I’m just now starting to feel the urge to peek out from under the blankets. I haven’t been doing much, haven’t been thinkinging much–mostly, I’ve just been getting the required stuff done and then begging to everybody to please leave me aloooone, I want to be aloooooooooone!
It’s been rainy and gray and sorta icky cold (just cold enough to need a sweatshirt), and that hasn’t helped much. I want it to be so sunny that my skin cooks onto my bones. I want pollen to burn in hell for eternity. I want all old men doing stories on Miss California to be thrown into Gitmo.
Too much to ask?
In good news, I have just registered for my amazing writing workshop. SO thrilled. I’ve also been really contemplating some new spaces of creativity–zines, printing presses, etc–connecting with people on a more real level then the knowledgeable “expert” blog writer and the “receptive” non-expert.
What would blogging be if blog writers weren’t considered “experts?” But at the same time, what does it mean when a Chicana, a woman of color, a queer, destabilizes that position of “expert?”
Oh, on a different note: my baby lost his very first tooth today! He’s been waiting a long time for this, he even checked out a book about being the last one to lose a tooth in his class because all of his friends have lost teeth and he hasn’t.
Who the hell knew they had books like that?
- Share
May 7th, 2009 at 12:54 pm #
Hello,
We are writing to thank you for some words you wrote that meant a lot to us.
We are a group of students of Color attending the dance program at the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities. Since February 10, 2009, we have been engaging in a non-violent, creative protest against the silencing of students of Color and mishandling of discussions regarding racism within the dance program.
Our protest—entitled THIS—has consisted of words and images posted on the walls and windows of our building–thoughts, articles, poems, and photos of people who share our perspectives on issues of racism and other intersecting forms of discrimination. These postings on the walls made us feel a sense of ownership and belonging in a space that had alienated and silenced our experiences.
Among the writers whose words we posted (a group including bell hooks, Chrystos, Andrea Smith, Audre Lorde and Nikki Giovanni), were excerpts from your article linked here – http://brownfemipower.com/archives/1072.
We posted all of the articles citing the author, date of publication, and URL.
On April 5, 2009, three people entered the building after hours, and ripped off every single piece of paper on the walls, throwing the crumpled remains in the trash and recycling bins. All of these people, who identified themselves in comments on our blog, are White. Two are current dance majors, one of whom is a private employee of the director of dance. The third was an alumni of the program, also employed by the director of dance. The only official reaction to this destruction of our protest material was an allusion to “changes made…by a group of students” in an email sent out by the chair of the department regarding a student-led meeting.
We have been working with an Ombudsman from our University’s Student Conflict Resolution Center and the Office for Equity and Diversity to try to negotiate with the dance faculty, and both these departments have been both supportive and helpful. However, the dance program administration has continued to be uncommunicative. Moreover, every posting that we have made following the destruction of our protest has been taken down minutes after the dance building opens.
We appreciate your voice as one which gave us strength when we needed other people’s words to bolster our own, and we are grateful to you for your contribution in our mutual fight for justice. For us, the words and pictures on the walls were sacred; they sanctified the space and helped us to feel a sense of solidarity when the hostile and indifferent silence from our faculty and peers threatened to overwhelm us. Seeing the words and images ripped up, and thrown away hurt in a way that desecration does. We continue to protest, but the building itself no longer feels safe.
We ask you for permission to link to your words from our blog, so that students can read what was ripped down. We are including some links to our blog in case you wish to familiarize yourself with our protest. We do hope that, knowing what we are doing, you will not mind us having used your words to support our struggle.
– us, May 7, 2009
Links:
Our blog: http://thisbyus.blogspot.com
An annotated timeline of events: http://tinyurl.com/thistimeline
Photos of our protest:http://tinyurl.com/thisphotogallery
How to support: http://thisbyus.blogspot.com/2008/05/support-protest.html
Facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=92343241784
(We apologise for spamming your comment thread but we could not find an email address to send this to you)
May 7th, 2009 at 12:55 pm #
sending you strong hugs. i have been in a depression cycle as well. had to make some changes in my life to lift me up a bit.
what workshop did you sign up for?
congrats for the first tooth!
May 7th, 2009 at 2:29 pm #
*hugs*
Here’s to hoping that you are feeling better soon. I hope you have time to take for yourself to do what you need to do to get there.
And, YAY! First tooth!
May 7th, 2009 at 4:53 pm #
I’m glad you’re starting to feel a bit better. But I’m incredibly grateful that you took the time to stay under the covers! As you know, it gives all of us woc permission to take care of ourselves too.
PS. I second the UofMinn students when they say: “We appreciate your voice as one which gave us strength when we needed other people’s words to bolster our own.” The only papers I was able to write this semester were basically odes to my grandma, Andrea Smith, and Brownfemipower! Everything else just seemed to suck out my soul…
May 7th, 2009 at 6:38 pm #
Oof, depression. I am sending you internet good wishes, and hopefully the sun will be out again soon!
May 7th, 2009 at 8:59 pm #
I’m sending you internet hugs!