Why is it that when there is 4-6 feet of sidewalk, the only place two children can find to walk is about three inches in front of mother and two inches to the side of mother?
Is it really a walk if mother spends her entire time yelling at children to move over and almost tripping over said children?
(also, a fun little side track on said walk consisted of threesome running into a pack of about twenty massive huge godzilla sized monster geese. Who all magically grew necks to about twenty feet long whenever said threesome took a step.
Is it a walk if mother has to get her grocery bag out and threaten monster geese with it? Is it a walk if older child winds up screaming hysterically about how she hates geese, even as monster geese are gunning for an attack on threesome?
Do children not know today that when monster geese are gunning for an attack on you, you don’t stop to scream, you get your grocery bag out and get ready for a fight????
WTF is going on with today’s youth???)
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March 1st, 2009 at 12:13 pm #
Sadly, our schools don’t have any goose-awareness education. How are our children going to be able to tell a gaggle from a flock? What will become of society?
March 1st, 2009 at 12:33 pm #
all I want is elementary bird education. Don’t turn into a puddle of screaming goo when you’re about to become known in bird history as Revenge In The Name of All Bird Kind.
That is all.
March 1st, 2009 at 12:39 pm #
If we don’t start bird education NOW, kids are going to be standing with open mouths under trees full of starlings. And people are not going to see that as a systemic problem — they’re going to see that as, “One or two stupid kids got starling crap in their mouths.” Until their own kids get crapped on, that is.
March 1st, 2009 at 12:53 pm #
Bird crap in the mouth is a HUGE problem around here. I *KNEW* I needed to start that petition for some reason. ELEMENTARY BIRD EDUCATION NOW!
Before our kids get bird crap in their mouths!!!!!!!
March 1st, 2009 at 1:29 pm #
I will sign that petition. Kids need to know: geese are mean and fierce!
If they’re angling for you, you need to make immediate preparations to defend yourself (or else sprint quickly in the opposite direction, I’m OK with that too).
March 1st, 2009 at 1:57 pm #
You know, I am Soooooooooooo ok with sprinting quickly in the opposite direction!!!! Just don’t dig in and start screaming!!!! hahahaha!!! (you know, tho, I think the screaming actually helped, the birds were all, WTF is that high pitched thing vibrating through my skull???? hahahaha, for all I know, my darling drama queen saved our asses from Godzilla Geese.)
March 1st, 2009 at 2:21 pm #
This could be you and your kids and your dog, folks:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsfKHwg3Zuk
Will YOU have a fancy motorboat to save you when the time comes?
March 1st, 2009 at 3:50 pm #
Geese are evil! When my brother was little the flock in our backyard used to chase him up the back steps and trap him there. But he was a multitasker: He would scream his head off while sprinting in the opposite direction.
Plus, those feathery bastards crap eeeeeverywhere.
March 1st, 2009 at 4:25 pm #
LOL! That could have been me with my offspring
We try not to walk anywhere
March 1st, 2009 at 4:37 pm #
Sadly, geese awareness has fallen by the way side. So many parents just don’t want to tell the wee ones about how the cute little bird is actually a winged sociopath that is best approached with, at the very least, mom’s (or dad’s) golf umbrella.
March 1st, 2009 at 4:59 pm #
I don’t know, I’m like your darling drama queen.
I want to scream at that goose image right now!
March 2nd, 2009 at 6:37 am #
I love love love that picture. Angry goose attack! At my job, we have geese that set up shop for making more geese in the dividers between parking lots. Since everyone is terrified of the geese, the geese go around like plutocrat bullies of the parking lot, swaggering as they honk. So to prevent MASS HYSTERIA from people who run into the building screaming as a fifteen pound bird wiggles its wings at them slightly, the parking spaces in front of their nests get blocked off for the duration of nesting season. That is what happens without goose education; the world gets geese-only parking.
March 2nd, 2009 at 6:55 am #
And too add, why the hell is it that when you walk with your kids on the sidewalk and one kid is in a stroller, the older kid insists on holding on to the stroller and practically dragging herself on it? Huh? Why?
Ay geese scare the f out of me pero you should see the pigeons in my hood! That’s scary as is walking underneath the elevated train tracks and avoiding them shitting on you.
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:53 am #
The lakefront in Toronto is overrun by Canada geese, who are indeed the most vicious creatures known to humanity. They’ll bite you as soon as look at you.
March 2nd, 2009 at 9:22 am #
@ winna–that is the most awesome thing I think I’ve ever heard.
I love plutocrat bullies that honk.
March 2nd, 2009 at 9:29 am #
@mamita—GURL, you just TOTALLY named my PET PEEVE. the “dragging child”–the one that hold’s onto you because they say the love you and want to be close but REALLY is holding on so that YOU’LL DRAG THAT CHILD the 25 miles you are walking that day!
March 2nd, 2009 at 4:42 pm #
Delurking to say:
That is an amazing picture. They may be mean, but I love Canada geese.
March 2nd, 2009 at 4:50 pm #
i think you have to put a warning on this entry, that picture SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME
March 3rd, 2009 at 8:09 pm #
Let me speak for the geese. When they took over the corn field across the street, they drove out the grackles. At least the geese do not come over and drive the finches and cardinals away from the feeder.