Yes, it’s pissed me off reading the whole shitbang-just as much as it’s pissed off probably all of you. I’ve been counseled through some fork stabbings by friends and had a really great night with brownies last night. And I’ve been ready to let it go. Because it’s the same old shit same old shit same old shit same old shit. But I saw one thing that was just too much to take. I am addressing ONLY that here–and ONLY women of color may participate in any conversation that occurs in comments.
It’s pissed me off first and foremost how it’s been women of color that have been put on the defensive. Women of color that have had to be held accountable to white women’s words–when white women have never and probably will never be accountable to OUR words. It’s been women of color that have had to explain their actions, their writing, their words. It’s pissed me off that nobody ASKED any of these women of color if they were happy or felt it was necessary to be put in that position so that whiteness could be called out.
A clue: a friend of mine wanted to write an essay about what happened in blogland last year. She consulted me AND all the women who were involved w/THAT blow out every single step of the way in writing her essay–and once the piece was done, she asked every single one of us for our ok. Not because she felt we controlled her text, not because she was mindlessly beating herself up over unearned privilege, but because she knew it was going to be US that would have to deal with the brunt of any bullshit that came about because of her essay.
My fellow women of color–I wish we were given that same respect here. And if you hate me, and I hate you, but you are a woman of color who now feels that you have to defend yourself in some way–I still wish that we were given that same respect. And I can not hate you long enough to say I hope that you’re ok and not feeling that sense of insecurity I always feel with I am put into the position of having to second guess myself.
Having said that–It has hurt me deeply to know that white women can decide what it is that was so upsetting to so many women of color about the YMY book, and have women of color *believe* them. In particular: Renee–who said:
I am sick and tired of watching as women pull each other the fuck down, we have patriarchy to do that. God damn, why is it so fucking hard to be happy to see another woman succeed? When I read Cara and Latoyas essays in Yes means yes, I didn’t think oh it shoulda been me. I thought thank Goddess someone is speaking truth to power. Are we ever going to take the time to celebrate each other? Yes there are going to be differences across race, class, gender, sexuality and ability but that does not mean we cannot celebrate each other as sisters in the struggle
Really honestly and TRULY–this is the way women of color who voiced dissent about the book’s title and call out are honestly perceived by other women of color?
As I remember it, the women of color who were issuing dissent were doing it based on the theoretical idea put forth by the book that rape could be solved by making sex fun and enjoyable. As I recall women of color activists from all circles gave testimony to their work and talked about could this book in any way help the survivors that they interacted with on a daily basis. As I recall, queer women of color wondered how the heterosexual slant on the idea of Yes means Yes (if No means no is talking to male rapists, who are we saying yes to?) could possibly apply to them.
None of these ideas sound as simple and as small minded as what is being written about women who voiced dissent. It’s never been about money, it’s never been about ‘success,’ it’s never been about I want me some of that. Not once, since the very beggining of all this bullshit with Jessica Valenti’s very first book has it *ever* been about money for the radical women of color who have voiced dissent. It’s ALWAYS been written ONTO their arguments by WHITE WOMEN. We are jealous. We are lazy and won’t get off our asses and do it ourselves. We expect things to be handed to us.
It’s not infuriating to me–it’s fucking sad as all fucking HELL to the point it defeats my fucking SOUL to know that other women of color look at the critique put forth and insist it must actually be that we are doing the patriarchy’s work and are trying to deny other women success.
Which leads to the issue of tokenism. First, I think it’s bullshit that ANY white woman would tell ANY woman of color that she’s a token. This is NOT about women of color–and even if they are complete and total 100% Clarence Thomas golden coin tokens–it is NOT the place of ANY white person to question or challenge how ANY person of color negotiates survival in a racist, white supremacist world. Ever. Period.
Having said that–my fellow women of color who care to hear it–we got some issues we need to work through. I noticed that Latoya said over at Professor What If’s that she is a strict media reformist. That Aaminah Hernandez had told her about the concept of media justice–but she, Latoya, was a media reformist–but at the same time that didn’t mean that reform minded WOC and Radical WOC couldn’t ever meet somewhere in the middle.
I agreed with that idea. But then I read Latoya ask Black Amazon–
From a business standpoint, if one avenue is blocked to you, you find another avenue and keep it moving. (Sure, there’s that fun “crush your enemies” thing, but that’s optional). And you’ve made it clear that you aren’t in it for the reasons they are, and you don’t need them to establish the type of community you want to, why does what they say matter?
Well, I can’t answer for BA, but for me–it matters because YOU, Latoya, a woman of color, are engaging with and finding “their” world important and essential to you and your activism. *I* find *you* and your presence vastly necessary in my OWN activism. If I can’t have all of you here (media justice YAY, media reform BOO) then I want to meet you half way.
Something you, Latoya, *said* you wanted. But now apparently I (media justice YAY!) am supposed to pack my bags and go find somebody else to hang with because I find working with feminist to make my skin crawl?
I have done my best throughout my blogging to not be hostile or angry or otherwise force women of color who were not radical minded into uncomfortable positions (as in, You CHOOSE NOW, is it ME or THEM???)–I’ve tried to live by my own damn words. But FUCK. I need a little clarity here. If you are not media justice (YAY) inclined–FINE. I totally get that. I disagree, (media reform BOO), but I get that. But *I* need things to be clearer here. Not speaking for anybody else but myself–*I* need things to be clearer. The “we don’t agree but we can work together” is just not meshing in my head with the “if you don’t like it, go find another road to travel down.”
Having said all that….I don’t want to point strictly to Latoya and Renee, as if only Latoya and Renee said confusing things that hurt. First off, I know that for all my good intentions, I *have* hurt the feelings of ‘reform’ middle of the road women of color feminists–which I will get to in a minute–but I wanted to not beat around the bush here. So Latoya and Renee-if you choose to respond, please know that I pointed to your words specifically because your words were there and I wanted to not muddle the boat with vague insinuations, not because I thought to myself, I’m going to “get” Latoya and Renee.
But again, having said all that–the ONE good thing that I think that this whole stupid blow up has done is it has pointed to a tension that I think has been around women of color bloggers for a long time. The tensions that specifically rest on 1. what is a woman of color, 2. what is a *radical* woman of color, 3. how are we all interacting with whiteness 4. how is whiteness forcing us all into one lump of “WOC” or “RWOC” when we all *clearly* don’t stand together politically on some really really important things and 5. how does the way we identify *ourselves* make us interact with each other, if at all?
To go back to the reform versus justice thing. Veronica is reform minded. I am justice minded. I think that we’ve found a way to deal with each other–but always, underneath the surface, there is that tension. When I go off the deep end, get my chola knife out and start slashing at evil feminists, I think I hurt Veronica’s feelings–or at the very least make her insecure (as there is usually a very sweet very cute “except me, right” DM sent to me shortly after my rant). And for anybody who hasn’t been around a while, Samhita from feministing and radical women of color had a private conversation which I know for a fact started because of this SAME thing–and Samhita’s feelings were very very hurt. So I own up to my part in saying or otherwise doing anything that has hurt the feelings of or caused feelings of betrayal in reform minded women of color.
For my part, I get frustrated because reform folks keep insisting to me that all is cool…but…
A story: after I left blogging for a while last year, I got an email from a white person asking me to write an essay about immigrant women for a project. That person specifically told me that the blogland blowup was what made this person realize that immigrant women were not present in this person’s project. I was totally broken down at that point, so I ignored the email, and went back to soaking my feet. A while later, I found out that another Latina (a more reform minded Latina) was approached and agreed to do the essay.
Now. I’m looking at this situation going–a fellow Latina just got played. The only reason she was asked was because I didn’t respond. Who the hell knows or cares why she said yes–to me, the important thing was she was the backup Latina–which means I was the “First Choice Latina.” We were both tokenized.
My problem comes in because–what could I do? Could I say something to this Latina? Could I say to her–we both just got played, let’s figure out some way to protest this shit?
Could there have been a half way point where we could come out of it with both of our identities as Latinas, as a moderate and a radical, as women of color interacting with each other AND with whiteness, in tack?
Or would we have hurt each other some how? Would she have told me–it’s not like that, this person is my *friend* (insinuating that white friendship comes before women of color solidarity). And would I have responded with, stop being so white identified (insinuating that she can’t be trusted ala other women of color “traitors” which is, hello, playing with the tricks men of color use to keep us all in line)?
Do we have each others backs even if we disagree with each other? Is having each others backs asking for too much? How do we negotiate “women of color” which is a chosen name and implies solidarity–if we don’t have each others backs? How do we disagree with each other AND have each others backs? Is having each others backs a part of ‘solidarity’? What is “solidarity”?
I don’t know. And it makes me really really sad that I don’t know. White feminists–they piss me off. The drive me ranting mad. I’ve made no bones about the fact that I do NOT like feminism and it makes my skin crawl and I am done with it. But you all–you may not be my girls–I would never assume that–but you are me in a way–because I am struggling with a lot of the same shit YOU are struggling with. How the fuck do I negotiate all this shit and still be fucking me?
I can’t and don’t WANT to write fellow women of color off–even those who hate me–because then in my mind, that would be like writing *myself* off, or some how delegitimizing myself. A selfish thing I know–but I can’t help it.
And so I voice these ideas with that in mind–we are who we are–and how the hell do we now deal with each other? How the hell do we not knock each other down while dancing around that ring of fire called whiteness?
And if we can’t deal with each other, can we at least still be friends?
Please?
Much respect and love,
bfp
Again, please remember, if you are not a woman of color or a woman who identifies as not being white, please don’t comment.
Thank you.
- Share
February 19th, 2009 at 8:38 pm #
I read that and I just i Read those responses and I really I just i can’t even begin to describe to you how sad I felt right there.
Like I read taht and my HEART HURT
i have never been as hurt in blogging as by those two excerpts and you knwo what it says a lot to me that you knew exactly what gutted me
February 19th, 2009 at 8:55 pm #
I think that you misunderstood the point I was making in that post. In full disclosure I have not read the book in question or any critiques of it. I have only read the to essays which were specifically mentioned. That comment was not aimed at WOC at all. It was aimed at the authors of the post at Prof What IF. Throughout that essay they made it clear that the relationship between white women and WOC is always adversarial because we are either angry tokens and or that we feel jealous of their success. My point was that despite the things that divide us, we can still celebrate the success of another when it is earned. In the case of the two essays mentioned, I thought that they were brilliant.
I felt like the post at Prof What If was so busy trying to tear apart what they perceived as wrong, that they felt that they could speak on behalf of all WOC. It did not seem to matter to them in their approach who they attacked as long as they were proven correct in their analysis. The book was simply an example. In my experience being able to say “I’m right”, often comes before the feelings of another and this can be divisive. They were so busy pointing out the ugly on both sides they forgot to mention the ways in which we can and do come together. I chose to use this example because then I could point to a white woman and a WOC both involved in a project together that did produce some very good work.
February 19th, 2009 at 10:28 pm #
dear bfp,
thanks. thanks. thanks. frankly, you said alot of things that i was thinking but didnt say because well, i have a small small small blog. like, it was completely wrong for white women to go and call woc tokens, they have absolutely no right…but, when a woc identifies as radical. and then is invited into a predominantly white feminist space to write from rwoc perspective…she is kind of representing rwoc to white women. she is the face or one of the faces or rwoc to white feminists. especially if there was major critique of the feminst-bloglandia by a community of rwoc right before she was invited to write for white feminist-bloglandia. i mean isnt that kind of like a token? i mean being a token (to my mind) isnt about whether you are selling out your soul, it is about: what is the impact of your presence in that white-dominant space. how do white feminists see your presence. and how does your presence in white dominant spaces affect other poc.
its like if i say that someone’s behaviour is racist i am not saying that they ‘intended’ to be racist, i am saying that the impact of what they are doing is reifying white power structures. and i think that it hold the same with the word: token.
it was racist for two white chicks to write some article about poor lil victim-token woc.
but it is token that there are a few woc/rwoc who because of their relationship to white feminist bloglandia have a louder voice than other woc/rwoc.
now i think that reform minded woc basically use the argument: being a token is useful. it helps to open the door a little wider for other woc. it helps to get our voices out there. and being a token is hard work (it is. ive been a token. white folks attack you like crazy. you get to be their lil woc punching bag. it is stressful. etc.) and maybe it does help woc. (i have my doubts).
but see being a token also means that you dont devote more of your time to other activities. like being central to building radical communities.
how much time each of us as woc are going to devote to reform vs. radical work is a personal choice. and i am not saying that other woc have made the wrong choice. i guess i am just saying that its time that we looked in the mirror and admitted that if your audience/readership size is based in a large part on your participation in white-dominated spaces then you have become a gatekeeper for woc and a token to white folks.
and with that kind of power comes responsibility. and yeah, accountability.
i say this in love and respect and admiration and awe. and love. and love. and love.
February 20th, 2009 at 4:20 am #
I’m just going to be blunt, though I know you will all hate me for it: I think we must have read completely different essays. I am genuinely CONFUSED that this has blown up in the WoC blogosphere. I expected white feminists to throw fits. I did not expect WoC to be hurt by it. I really didn’t, and I really still don’t understand. I’m not invalidating anyone else’s pain, I’m just saying I didn’t feel at all the same way reading the post. BFP, you raise some really good points in this post and I’ll be thinking on them for a while. I absolutely agree with the diff between media justice & media reform, and the way fellow WOC can throw the rest of us under the bus. I was offended by the long-drawn-out “this isn’t how we run our blog so you don’t know what you’re talking about” responses from some women of color. To my understanding (though I may be mistaken), the post was not written TO WoC, but TO white feminist bloggers who needed to be told by fellow whites that they are f’ing up. Maybe ya’ll don’t feel like you are tokenized, but I sure have felt that way, and I sure have wondered if you were being tokenized when you participated in certain White Feminist Blogs. I make no bones – I avoid those blogs. Even when WoC that I love are contributing to those blogs, I still avoid them because they are still overwhelming white and hateful. Yes, it should be WoC that get to say that. But I genuinely don’t understand why it is wrong for a couple of white women to attempt to be allies, attempt to explain to other white women what accountability means. I am not “friends” with the feminist crowd, and like I said, I tend to avoid avowedly feminist blogs, especially if run by white women. I just think this was a genuine attempt to do something right by a couple of white women, and the response is to assume it is speaking personally of individual WoC when it seemed to me it was speaking about and to the bad behavior of white feminists. Much trouble as I have with white women, I am ashamed to say that it looks to me like we just can’t take a white woman speaking at all, even when they are trying their damnest to get something right. Yes, WoC can, should, and do speak for ourselves. I just don’t know what we are expecting our allies to do if we won’t accept a word they try to say at all.
February 20th, 2009 at 4:52 am #
I left a response last night to this piece and yet it has not been posted. I see that two others have made it through moderation. Do I not get a chance to comment in my own defense?
February 20th, 2009 at 5:05 am #
@ renee–sorry, I don’t have moderation on right now, so people who have posted before are just automatically let through but people who haven’t posted before need to wait for my approval. I went to bed last night so I didn’t see your post until this morning. So sorry for the delay, I was in no way trying to moderate your words or anybody elses words, and I have really been trying to do the exact opposite!
February 20th, 2009 at 5:42 am #
Thank you for this, bfp. I was talking to my partner last night about this and the first thing she brought up, as a WOC entirely disconnected from the blogosphere, is that this whole blow up was started by white women for the purposes of taking on other white women, and now WOC are forced to pay attention, respond, and waste their time.
For my part, I feel like I landed back in the blogosphere in the middle of a shitstorm, and somehow I landed on the wrong side of the fence. And I just don’t know how to make shit right.
I think solidarity between women of color is key. I don’t think there’s a simple line between “radical” and “reform” (I actually avoid the word “radical” like the plague because sometimes it feels meaningless.) Your post makes me wonder if maybe we need a big women of color in the blogosphere-only caucus – bringing people from all parts of the political spectrum together to deal with our shit. Something online maybe; even though in person is great it also means getting everyone into the same room which is incredibly difficult.
Maia – I actually agree with you about the token thing, and about the distraction from your own communities’ needs and work, and about the power and responsibility thing. But I think it’s one thing to say that someone’s being tokenized, and another thing entirely to say that someone is naive and co-opted. I dunno, somehow the latter robs WOC of agency in a way that the former doesn’t… but maybe it’s just semantics?
Aaminah – I think that if the two white women who wrote that post really wanted to be supportive of WOC, they would have *spoken* to women of color and given a damn about what they said. Or better yet, they would have relinquished their guest spot to women of color so we could speak for ourselves.
February 20th, 2009 at 5:46 am #
@aaminah–really good points–I wonder tho, would you have called women who post at those blogs tokens if you had written the original post at prof. what if? Why or why not? I guess for me, I’ve got a hard time with white women calling ANY woman of color tokens–because 1. I’ve been called that and have NOT reacted well to *being* called that, and 2. have been a part of a group that has called OTHER women that, and have seen how poorly it is recieved. “Token” has a big old painful history with all of our communities and it hurts like hell and from my own experiences, makes dialogue pretty impossible after that.
On the other hand–I think you make a really good point about white women, what they can say and if they can ever say anything ‘the right way.’ Like i asked before–are women of color really the problem here? Really? In a blog world where women of color have said almost *exactly* what they (white women) said (in regards to their over all theme re: how are WOC and other marginalized communities treated by a bigger blogosphere, not so much about the money, etc), and *they are being paid attention to* whereas we are pretty much ignored, told to go fuck ourselves, or called “jealous”–are women of color *really* the problem here? And in a world that already treats women of color like shit, how could it not be obvious that women of color would be the ones that would have their already precarious positions challenged *rather* than white feminists?
There is a history of people questioning the position of “whiteness” in blogland–radical women of color of all spheres have done it, and many white people have as well, including jess hoffman who specifically addressed white feminists in her open letter that was posted around the same time the whole problem happened with me. Why wasn’t any of that history mentioned or drawn upon? WOuld it have made it easier to have this discussion? I think it would have. I myself had no interest at ALL in being a part of this discussion, and when I saw that my stuff was linked to, I sort of felt sick to my stomach. That time in my life was an incredibly horrible time, online and offline, and much of the stuff, I’m still working through and trying to process. Did I need to see post after post after post from women of color who were upset and angered about this to help me process? a big fat selfish HELL NO here. ((snarky ass laugh)). But they don’t need me to go through this discussion, and they don’t need my words–like I said, they had a whole history of others words they could have used that would have helped to center a discussion in a much more beneficial way.
In regards to their overall message? Fucking hell yes. Women of color are treated like shit. And all the feminists can ride my ass and tell me about how I’m jealous and I’m too lazy to “do it myself” and how I need to stop complaining, etc–but what the fuck ever. They shoot themselves in the ass over and over again with the “we don’t understand why nobody will call themselves feminists” while at the same time very methodically pinching anybody who gives a damn out of their exclusive networking clubs. It makes my head ache.
But the fact of the matter is, it’s not white women right now who are interrogating themselves or interacting with the essay. It’s women of color. It’s always always always women of color. and not saying, oh, women of color don’t have anything to think about–cuz lord knows, I myself have a whole ROOM full of issues I have to work through! Just saying–why are we *always* accountable to white women–and never to each other? And why the holy hell aren’t white women ever accountable to us?
February 20th, 2009 at 6:08 am #
just so anybody who comments here for the first time knows: I am headed to work–if you’ve commented here before, your posts will automatically go through moderation. If you have not commented here before (or it’s been a long time), your comments will automatically be held in moderation until I can get to them!!
February 20th, 2009 at 6:15 am #
Alright, I’ve spent 20 minutes writing a lengthy comment that I just deleted.
I can’t stay on one point right now.
I’m pissed. On so many levels.
Thanks for this, BFP.
I’ll publicly engage when ready. Again, thanks for this space.
February 20th, 2009 at 7:00 am #
about being a token: my blog hits spike so rapidly whenever anything goes down in palestine. it makes me sick, and i wish they would ignore me, because then i feel like i can’t write about what i want to because i have too much random traffic coming in (from places i don’t want–don’t assume i’ll be grateful for the traffic when i’m getting anti-palestinian comments from *feminists*–i am not trying to do the same thing with my blog that you are).
i think one of the main differences in rwoc blogging or media justice blogging is that it’s not business based–it’s based in transformation of ourselves, our communities, and systems of power around us. this shapes our priorities. i feel like this is something you’re touching on in yr post bfp.
it would be great if there were better ways to connect and support each other through radical/not radical divisions, at the same time i don’t want to just pay lip service. how can we open up space where we aren’t trying to convert each other and we don’t have to fight each other to be taken seriously? does a business minded, reform minded blogger take my non-blogging broke ass and all the work i do seriously, or does she genuinely think i’d be more useful doing what she’s doing? it’s really hard to connect when you feel that your work, what you are most dedicated to, isn’t being seen as important, or when you’re being judged as harshly and specifically as some of us judge each other.
February 20th, 2009 at 7:09 am #
Word to what Nadia said.
I feel like I’m about to ex/implode. I think this is all important but I just can’t think of more ways to write what I think about this. I just spent my week writing this so I’m linking it as my comment…I want to engage, but I’m dry.
Both on and offline, it’s not our race, class, ethnicity, sexual orientation or any other spoke on the wheel of “intersectionality” that divides us. It’s our objectives. It’s how we measure liberation and what we are willing to do with our privileged lives in the name of transformation. The differences in our objectives are as transparent as our URLs. Some are here for fun and professional advancement. Those of us who are here for more than business are here to question the systems that contort liberation.
Is there any wonder that there is a divide?
For me, there is only one question: what are you willing to do for liberation?
http://myecdysis.blogspot.com/2009/02/my-nicaraguan-father-reflections-on.html
sorry, i suck at html stuff…
February 20th, 2009 at 8:11 am #
B/c of all the misunderstandings and b.s. surrounding all of this so far, and b/c I have a tendency of speaking based on initial reactions and then having my words come back to bite me in the ass, I am going to sit on this post for a while before making a full comment.
But I wanted to say that I really thank you for writing it, and agree (for the most part) with the comments that are here already.
There’s a lot going on here, as I’ve said on other comments re this already, but I think there is good that can come out of it.
February 20th, 2009 at 8:44 am #
@jack
i think that anytime that we try to speak to another’s intentions, motivations, inner thoughts, etc. we make a grave mistake.
February 20th, 2009 at 10:04 am #
this is the crux of what I’ve been puzzling through myself. I don’t know know–i was in a much different place last night than I am this morning–this morning my head hurts, my eyes hurt, I am crabby as hell–and I just am feeling pretty hopeless about trying to figure it all out. I’m already sick of wheels that are churning as we speak…the feminist blogosphere is nothing but pure hatred. pure godamn soaked to the bone hatred.
February 20th, 2009 at 10:07 am #
Renee, thank you much for clarifying your comments. I see now that there a lot of subtleties to your comment that I wasn’t reading because I felt very defensive. I would love to hear your thoughts not on that stupid post, but more on how women of color can deal with each other while dealing with whiteness.
February 20th, 2009 at 10:28 am #
just saw this over at Feministe–a comment made by Kai.
Really important and really puts a toe hold on what I’m really struggling witht. after feeling so angry and upset, and then wanting to reach out to other women of color–I’m now just feeling bitter and mean and pretty sure that all of this mess is just yet another way that the Devil has found to fuck with my ass. haha. ((doing a lot of bitter snarky ironic laughing these days)). But this is definitly how I feel, destablized. Like I was happy just doing my walks with jess, posting here and there about whatever–and then suddenly, a link popped up, then another link, then another link, and eventually it was all so close to me, I couldn’t ignore it–and I’m in that stanky ass horrible place yet again where I want my blogging to be one thing, it’s coming out as something else altogether, and I’m beating my damn self up for falling into the trap again.
I’m tired of beating myself up.
February 20th, 2009 at 10:41 am #
you know what? I’m just too fucking depressed to even *think* about any of this right now. I’m getting *myself* all worked up over this, I am SO off my center…I’m SO tired of falling into the same bullshit over and over again.
May the whole damn thing implode on itself.
That is all.
February 20th, 2009 at 10:56 am #
BFP, I admire your strength, honesty and courage in trying to reach out to other WOC.
Just like it’s hard for people who claim the label “feminist” to stand together on common ground, it is also hard for WOC. At the end of the day, there are some struggles we share, but some that we do not. And even if our backgrounds are the same, our experiences might not be.
I am an immigrant from DR whose parents wish they had never come here b/c my sisters and I are now too independent. I struggle with this. I still claim the label “feminist” b/c it is such a part of my identity, that I don’t know what I’d do without it. I struggle with this.
But I’m also privileged in many ways. I got a degree from a good school. My guy and I have jobs. I have good friends. I have hours to spend on the internet- reading, blogging, tweeting, etc. I struggle with all of that too.
I don’t know what it’s like to live in Michigan. I live in a safe area next to a scary area, but I could choose to not venture that way if I wanted to.
These are just some examples of how who I am, personally, might be different from who you or anybody else is.
Some people have a hard time dealing with those differences. They cannot find solidarity in knowing that I have such privileges or such struggles. Others (like me) are much more empathetic. We can actually listen to what people are saying, internalize it, and *feel* it – really, truly feel it until it hurts – before trying to move forward in any kind of discussion.
I say all of this just to reiterate that it will not always be as easy as we want or as neat as we want or as together, understanding, sympathetic, beautiful as we want. But we can still push forward. There will always be people against you/us. But there will always be people with you. Even when we disagree.
That’s what makes me want to push forward, and that’s what I hold on to.
You can say I’m too naive. You can say I’m too young. You can say I’m delusional. I don’t care. I’m going to keep being that way because that’s the only way things will ever change.
February 20th, 2009 at 12:56 pm #
Hi Bfp,
I’ve been dealing with these issues a lot, and finding it frustrating that a lot of the literature out there on radical woc organising seems to assume that all women of colour have this automatic solidarity and doesn’t discuss differences, conflicts, or disagreements in any depth.
In the past when I wrote about radical woc organising I wrote that it doesn’t assume solidarity or commonality, but instead offers methods of working through difference to build solidarity… I’m not so sure that’s true all the time. A lot of what I see is people assuming and speaking for others in ways that might not be welcome or constructive. It seems like there’s very little scope for women of colour to talk to each other about our grievances with each other and to work them out because of the perpetual threat of white supremacy and male supremacy hanging over our heads, and the “no time to talk, we have to take ACTION” mentality that casts dissenters as troublemakers and counterrevolutionaries.
When I think about these issues I’ve been referring back to some parts of Audre Lorde’s ‘Eye to Eye: Black Women, Hatred and Anger’ which in some ways I find really hard to read. It’s about Black women specifically, but I found that it sometimes applies to how I relate to all women of colour…
I’ve been trying to work through many of these issues and only got to the first stepping-stone, which is that a lot of conflict between people of colour seems to happen on the basis of different ways of dealing with racism. And a lot of fear and distrust of ways that might be new or unfamiliar, since racism is so toxic, sometimes utterly lethal, that to try something new might invite genocide.
I’m trying to learn to accept these differences, and avoid thinking of others as sell-outs/traitors/white-identified, but it’s difficult. Sometimes their ways of dealing with racism do in fact reinforce the racism I experience, so being all-forgiving is not an option.
Anyway, that’s all I have. Obviously I wrote this before reading all the comments because this conversation is taking place in US time and it’s hard for me to fully participate; I’m also massively busy. I just wanted to share those thoughts with you.
February 20th, 2009 at 1:28 pm #
It’s frustrating how the colonialism article was framed. It was framed in an ambiguous manner, whether or not it was intended to be. It’s frustrating that which are clearly speaking from a different place with a different goal don’t get the number of comments or circulation as the poorly framed ones do.
February 20th, 2009 at 1:30 pm #
arg, ok. let’s try that again. I meant to say:
It’s frustrating how the colonialism article was framed. It was framed in an ambiguous manner, whether or not it was intended to be. It’s frustrating that this one, which are clearly speaking from a different place with a different goal don’t get the number of comments or circulation as the poorly framed ones do.
February 20th, 2009 at 3:05 pm #
@BFP I think one of things we should do is support each other. In terms of blogging I really feel that we need to make a more conscious effort to promote each other. This is part of the reason I started the WOC and ally blog carnival. I originally only wanted to post the work of women of colour but could not get enough submissions. This continues to bother me because I know that there are many of us doing excellent work.
I don’t feel that we are tokens when we participate in the large white feminist blogosphere but I do believe that we don’t have the power we should have. We are still treated as the exotic other. I feel as though we need to carve out a strong niche just for ourselves. It continues to bother me that there are no large WOC run feminist blogs and that needs to change.
I don’t believe that we can force whiteness to listen to our concerns much less act on them but I really do feel that one large safe space needs to be created. In terms of dealing with whiteness what can we do but continue to repeat what we have been saying?
February 20th, 2009 at 3:32 pm #
I honestly think that these types of conversations between women of color *cannot* happen productively in the public eye. This is why I am such an advocate of closed online spaces for people of color, if people can’t interact in person.
February 21st, 2009 at 8:17 am #
Renee wrote: It continues to bother me that there are no large WOC run feminist blogs and that needs to change.
This bothers me too. It’s been something I’ve thought about a lot; sometimes I think that a women + trans* POC group blog would be something I could really invest myself in with a whole lot less internal conflict and general strife. Like, for me, it could be worth really coming back to blogging for that.
You know… we could always make one. And when I say “we” I just mean all of us…
Delux wrote: I honestly think that these types of conversations between women of color *cannot* happen productively in the public eye. This is why I am such an advocate of closed online spaces for people of color, if people can’t interact in person.
Agreed.
* Explicitly including trans and gender non-conforming people of color in these equations is important to me, because from where I’m coming from, I think the common bond is not so much shared womanhood or shared identification as women but rather shared oppression on the basis of gender. As someone who primarily identifies as a genderqueer butch but who certainly experiences and lives life as a woman of color, it’s important to me to have room to form bonds of solidarity and support while also not being squished into boxes that don’t quite fit. Sorry, total segue, and I certainly hope this doesn’t derail the conversation here.
February 21st, 2009 at 8:00 pm #
Jack, I think that sounds like a great idea. Or even the idea you had in the earlier comment of a caucus.
Put me down for anything that starts to come together. I think that whatever voices (loud, quiet, big, small) that can come together and find some common ground will help move things forward.
February 22nd, 2009 at 9:14 am #
@frau sally benz – Maia wrote about possibly starting up a women and trans people of color blog over on guerrilla mama medicine – take a look. (I commented there but it’s still in moderation.)
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:52 am #
Wow. BFP, I’m sorry. I am sending metta your way. And to everyone experiencing hurt because of this. It’ll pass.
Maybe it’s because I’ve been spending much less time on the internet lately, but it’s very striking to me how, even though these issues keep opening up over and over again, oozing pus out of the same wounds, ultimately we as women of color, and people of color who share experience of gender oppression (holla Jack) are so much stronger than these problems. So much stronger. Things in blogland fall apart, and eventually the dust settles, and we continue, maybe having learned something, maybe not. But with all of the constant arising and passing of pain and anger, it’s incredible and inspiring the way we continue to plant good seeds. That’s what we do. Whether it’s by creating new (R)W/POC spaces, nurturing existing ones, or even stepping away from the computer and taking a walk (or in my case, fleeing the country to meditate, haha), knowing when it’s time to breathe, this is how the good change comes.
So thanks again, so much, to bfp and everyone who continues to make this blog a loving place — loving not only in its times of harmony and silliness, but even in its moments of anger and despair. The flip flopping is a fact of life: it’ll always happen, there’s no stopping it. The joy is what matters. I feel so grateful for the joy that you all, and this blog, bring to my life.
with love,
katie
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:26 pm #
So I’m trying to figure out what this is all about. I don’t identify as feminist. I know you stopped writing for a time and why – which oddly enough was when I found you on the blogosphere. I think part of the problem is the “us” vs. “them” and the presumption (hope) that all WOC are in solidarity w/ea other. We’re not all allies. Is there a way certain “guidelines” or.. a baseline can be established. i don’t think there is one. Some people need to be negotiators and make gestures of “friendship”. Sometimes at the expense of taking a firm stand and having certain standards that another person may need to function. Now not “all” white females are the “enemy” but it certainly requires a thorough and continued examination of privilege to be an ally. I don’t think someone should necessarily have to walk in another’s shoes or understand all the nuances to be one, though. We all have different experiences and shouldn’t be expected to have the same viewpoints either. Class and heritage manifest themselves differently. For example I can state all BW are not in solidarity w/ea other. Anymore than any other woman, but I may have an expectation or hope of one. So what is needed is RECIPROCITY divided evenly. It may manifest itself under many guises but isn’t that what it breaks down to? An acknowledgment and equality.
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:30 pm #
I actually identify as justice minded. I don’t appreciate being called reform minded. We may differ on our tactics.
For more info on the work I do check out the centerformediajustice.org
But thanks for acknowledging that my feelings were hurt.
February 24th, 2009 at 6:31 am #
Sorry Samhita, I seem to keep sticking my foot in my mouth when it comes to interacting online with you. Sorry for the presumption.
February 25th, 2009 at 6:55 am #
Hey BFP –
Sorry about getting to this so late, there’s been a bunch on my plate lately. (I’m actually stepping back from all blogs not my own until April, when all my papers and stuff are done.)
Re: Media Justice/Media Reform people –
That’s not what I was thinking at all. How do I explain this better (and with 15 mins before I have to leave for work? *sigh*)
In terms of the role of you and BA and all the other RWOC play, I think it’s very necessary and needed. I just feel like we are employing different methods to reach the same end. So, here’s the view from where I sit. I met you and crew last year at WAM and saw a tight knit group of activists and women who respected each other and loved each other. I saw you put together one of the highest attended panels at the conference. I saw that you all were creating something great, that flourished even in an environment hostile to you. In my summation, y’all are doing good. You have a crew, and a mission, and some ideas.
In my mind, that’s damn close to Nirvana because that’s all you need. (Funding is nice, but ways come with time.) So, in essence, I like and respect your crew and it appears that we are heading in similar directions. We’re just taking different paths to get there. But y’all are good. My whole thing – which is part of my personality, intrinsically – is that if someone doesn’t recognize how awesome you are, sucks for them. Keep it moving. There are people in the anti-racist sphere who have issues with me and my methods. And that’s fine – everyone doesn’t have to like what I do for me to keep doing it. I’m not going to beat my head against a wall. I’m going to work with the folks who want to work with me and work *around* those who don’t. Because there are a lot of different ways to accomplish what I need to accomplish – I don’t see the need to engage with folks who aren’t hearing me.
So my comments weren’t to say “stop fighting against the inevitable” because that’s not it. It was more of a “don’t even sweat that because there’s a better house party next door” thing.
Well, I can’t answer for BA, but for me–it matters because YOU, Latoya, a woman of color, are engaging with and finding “their” world important and essential to you and your activism.
Oh snap. *There’s* the communication breakdown. How can I on one hand say “don’t sweat these people” if I’m working with these people. Gotcha! Okay, point two – Carmen and I went through an extensive media training course last summer. So in the time since we met and now, I’ve refocused how I engage both online and offline. In a nutshell, the idea is that the message is key. You have to find a way to take your message and push it to as many people as possible. It doesn’t matter how much I personally hate Bill O’Reilly and all that he stands for – if I get a media call to do his show, I got to go. You are supposed to go where it’s hostile, go where they aren’t trying to hear you, get up there and push your message because you never know who is going to hear you. I’m not going to convince Bill O’Reilly of anything. But can I catch someone else? Can I catch someone just passively watching the program who has never thought about the issues I’m bringing to them? So that’s the basic principle of what I learned.
But back to your question – I chafe a bit at the word “essential,” but that’s just about my personality. I have 8 people who are “essential” to me in real life. And there are maybe 10 people “essential” to me in the digital world. Beyond that, well – it is what it is. People who come to me with friendship get friendship, people who come to me with bullshit get bullshit.
I understand what you mean though, I would just use the word “useful.” Which is yes, I find working with a lot of folks in the feminist establishment useful to my end goal, which is promoting the message and connecting with the people that need that message. (I also have great affection for some of these people.) And, for what it’s worth, I’ve found that most of the people I’ve worked with know me and my background well enough to not tamper with my message and to allow me to say what I want to say. So this works for me, in the context of the goals I have set. It may not work with the goals you’ve set. And there may come a time where working within those contexts and confines don’t fit my goals anymore, so I won’t do them. But the tactics I use depend on the situation and what I am trying to accomplish at that moment.
RE: Yes Means Yes
I’ll start by saying I *never* wanted to talk about this. I chose to participate and not boycott. Therefore I didn’t post up any disclaimers or what have you. I made a choice, it is what it is. But when you say:
Really honestly and TRULY–this is the way women of color who voiced dissent about the book’s title and call out are honestly perceived by other women of color?
No no no no no no no no no.
Fuck this is fucked up.
As I said in the reading I gave, I wasn’t going to submit to YMY. I didn’t feel like I had anything to say because I was not raped. And I saw the fallout with the call for submissions and most of you made excellent points on why the call was going to fall short. So I was offered a spot and I passed.
Then, around that same time, I wrote those essays on girls and statutory rape. And Carmen called me and was like “What the fuck are you doing not writing about this? This cuts so deep.” And I still didn’t want to do it. But she was right, and there was something that happened to me about 12 years ago now that I finally decided to bring to light. So I decided that would be my essay. So I wrote. I wrote for about three weeks, making myself sick, feeling drained, not wanting to remember things, until it was done. I turned it in.
*THEN* I went to WAM.
*THEN* all the Seal Press shit popped off.
*THEN* Jaclyn called me to remind me the essay was being published with them. (Commonly, calls for submissions don’t include the publisher).
Fuck. I had the option to withdraw my essay. After wrestling with the decision, I decided not to. All the reasons I forced myself to write the essay were still there. They didn’t go away. And after speaking to my media adviser, I was reminded that this book would reach people who weren’t aware of this side of the blogosphere – kind of the way Colonize This! reached me before I knew about all the resources on the internet.
So I let it be. The responses I’ve gotten let me know it was the right decision for me to make. But y’all were not wrong to protest. And you were right to call for a Girlcott.
So, in a sense, I decided to use the double edged sword. I cut myself and I cut y’all in hopes of saving some others. It was not a fun choice to make. But that’s the one I made and I stand by it.
And as much as I wish I could say that’s the end, it’s not. I accepted another call for another anthology that’s also on Seal. Picking up that same damn sword. But here’s the deal with this one: I told Courtney that I would be in her book about moments becoming a feminist, but only if I could write about not wanting to call myself a feminist anymore because of all the racist bullshit that goes down. She agreed. (This was also pre-Seal press debacle).
Now, I could get out of this fairly easily. I could explain to Courtney that I don’t want to write on a Seal Press project and that would be that. But, as I learned in media training, that is a golden opportunity. Major names are in this book. It will get major pick up, be put in libraries, all of that. And in the middle of that book about loving and embracing feminism, will be my essay about why racism turns me off feminism.
From a media standpoint, it’s gold.
From an activist standpoint, it’s tarnished brass.
But again, that’s another decision I have to make.
*I* find *you* and your presence vastly necessary in my OWN activism. If I can’t have all of you here (media justice YAY, media reform BOO) then I want to meet you half way.
Something you, Latoya, *said* you wanted. But now apparently I (media justice YAY!) am supposed to pack my bags and go find somebody else to hang with because I find working with feminist to make my skin crawl?
No, that’s not it. If people make your skin crawl, don’t work with them. If *I* make your skin crawl, don’t work with me. But I feel like media justice and media reform folks *can* work together. I just don’t feel like I have to fight with y’all. We’re working more or less toward the same ends. I have enough people to fight with who are working against what I believe – I don’t need to fight with y’all as well.
I must admit I’m kind of scratching my head here because I am wondering why the assumption is that I don’t want to work with you. I do. You inform my feminism as well. But here’s the deal – you don’t need me to work. You don’t. Y’all got it. And when I work, I focus on trying to pull the people who haven’t heard what I have to say yet. That’s it. If y’all want something from me, all you ever have to do is ask. But our goals are different. I’m not sure where my skills will help you or if you have a need for what I do. So I just assume that if you want me, you’ll say something.
In the meantime, I’ll be doing what I do. I’m trying to catch the kids who are leaving messages on my site right now about Rihanna and Chris Brown and speak to them in a way that they hear me. I’m trying to create a space for intelligent conversation about race. I’m trying to expand the field of hip-hop feminism because I feel like that speaks to women who would normally give two fucks about feminism. That’s what I’m doing. Sometimes our paths cross and it is awesome. Sometimes they don’t. But I don’t think we need to fight each other.
February 25th, 2009 at 10:11 am #
My previous comment seems to have vanished. Did you see it, BFP?
February 25th, 2009 at 12:58 pm #
@ Latoya
Yup I got it!
First, thank you so much for your in depth reply–even if say, you were like, FUCK YOU BFP, I”ll NEVER READ YOUR DAMN BLOG AGAIN MUCH LESS “WORK” WITH YOU!–the fact that you took the time to explain where you were coming from really means a lot.
I think in large part, my nerves are SO freaking raw from the CONSTANT negativity surrounding anything radical woc do–I mean, we haven’t really “done” anything except be introspective and kumbaya-y for the last 6 months, and even that pisses people off. So when we get stuck in the middle of this mess *again*–and new people don’t really know what the history is and speak *just enough* truth that people take them seriously–but it’s not the *whole* truth…and then you combine that with the regular constant influx of hateration that we get just because…
I admit, my nerves just get frayed and suddenly Latoya or Renee speaking a truth, but a *different* truth, I get all–well, if you don’t appreciate me than I will just gather up my expensive toys and GO HOME, WAH WAH! haha.
Seriously tho. i think that I have some differences from where you are coming from Latoya, from the small ones (for example, I dislike “useful” because I’ve been “used” enough, I don’t need my contemporaries using me too, ya know?), to bigger ones (I would never ever go on Reilly, ever for any reason), but over ALL, what I’m reading from your words is that each moment as a woman of color is riddle with moments where we have to make choices–and those choices are never easy and are always second guessed, almost always by others, and every once in a while, by ourselves, something I agree with totally and whole heartedly. For what it’s worth, I don’t think for a minute you made the wrong choices–I just wonder how we can all get on the same page with things? Like, for example, if I don’t choose to submit and another woman *does* choose to submit–but we *both* know that we are “tokens”–how can we work together to confront that, while also making sure that our individual choices are respected? I mean, do we really have to sacrafice each other so that our message gets out into a larger world? Or so that we can make a point about tokenism? Are those the only choices we have hear?
I don’t think that we’re talking to each other as much as we’re talking to white women–I agree with renee that would should start looking for ways to support each other, even if we’re going in different directions. I’m not sure how to do that–and I’m not sure if we all want to or feel we need to start talking with each other….but I guess that’s the point i’m coming to after this whole damn mess….
February 25th, 2009 at 2:20 pm #
@BFP –
Well, I must admit, I was a bit taken aback by the post. It feels like the theme for this week is “talk about some shit Latoya said.” This is blog #3…
But anyway, no it’s fine. I don’t mind providing answers. I tend to run into problems when people don’t accept my answers about how my life is working.
i think that I have some differences from where you are coming from Latoya, from the small ones (for example, I dislike “useful” because I’ve been “used” enough, I don’t need my contemporaries using me too, ya know?), to bigger ones (I would never ever go on Reilly, ever for any reason)
And that’s kind of the rub, isn’t it. You dislike “useful,” I dislike the implications of “essential.” You’d never go on Bill O., I would hold my breath and rep for the hip-hop generation.
This isn’t surprising. We are different people with different life experiences with different outlooks on the same situations.
Which makes this bit:
I just wonder how we can all get on the same page with things?
A wee bit difficult. I’m not even sure we are reading the same book. It’s not like I’m not paying attention – I enjoy reading you and Sudy’s ruminations on life, the universe, and everything – but I’m not sure what you want to do. From where I sit, it appears that y’all are both healing and preparing for the next phase, which is totally necessary. But that’s different than Carmen calling me and saying “What are we going to do about international coverage on Racialicious?” or “What’s our plan for SXSW” or “Where’s the series on Cultural Appropriation.” Or even larger things – we need to think about a racism 101 site thing. But there’s always something concrete and that’s how I work the best. You talked about some misunderstanding with you and Adele because of your styles – it’s the same thing here. If Adele sends me an article she wrote, I can go “Oh, I can promote this on my website.” There’s a job for me to do.
I am process oriented. So I don’t think about the work in themes of submission/nonsubmission, I think about it in terms of opportunity/lack of opportunity.
I mean, do we really have to sacrafice each other so that our message gets out into a larger world?
I would hope not. But in cases like that, I felt the greater good was the way I chose. You’re welcome to disagree. Can we plan something going forward? Sure. But I feel like there are some fundamental differences in how we view the same things which will make things challenging. I’m not always interested in the grand gestures, I’m interested in the most effective way to create change. So maybe it is a boycott. Or maybe it’s simply promoting a new source of info. Or maybe it’s assembling a larger revenue stream and buying someone out. Every situation is different.
I don’t think that we’re talking to each other as much as we’re talking to white women
Really, BFP? I’m a little confused at that one again. My core audience over at my spot isn’t white. The people I deal with for business reasons are about half white and half WoC. The speaking stuff is to a primarily white audience, but that’s because I’m either trying to integrate something or because of barriers to entry like cost, something I hope will become less of an issue as time goes on and we find different ways to transmit information.
I agree with renee that would should start looking for ways to support each other, even if we’re going in different directions.
I agree as well. I always appreciate support and backup. But I also think we define support a little differently. Does this mean every action I take needs to be vetted before I do it? Or does that mean we supply help when needed/requested? Do we start a support group? I don’t know either. But I think that it is more a question of figuring out what the goal is.
Maybe we should move this convo to Sudy’s blog…
February 25th, 2009 at 4:50 pm #
Maybe we should move this convo to Sudy’s blog…
yeah, I’m all for that, I just got the message that Sudy had posted something so we can definitly head over there–the one thing I did want to say before we head over there–this part–
I think we do. I mean, you mentioned Courtney–that’s one more conversation with her than you’ve had with me, you know? And I’m totally not saying that to be a total bitch and all, why didn’t you email me???? I’m just saying that to point out that there is LOTS of potential for us to get on the same page, cuz we haven’t even started trying yet! And I would hope that there’s a way (I can’t see why there wouldn’t be) where rather than acting as a monitoring force with each other, we can work in that way that you said at the very beginning–working at sort of multiple points to get the same thing done. If we can figure out some way, (like through a blog or a conversation at Sudy’s or SOMETHING) where your more immediate efforts can become coordinated with our more long term efforts–where could we go? I’m so with you on that, but first I need to get off my ass and email you (or join the conversation w/Sudy, or whatever)–just long story short, ALL of us need to figure out a way to reach out.
And then rub each other’s damn shoulders, because we (well, maybe it’s just freaking ME!!!:->) are too fucking stressed by this shit!!!!
See you over at Sudy’s….
February 26th, 2009 at 7:14 am #
I mean, you mentioned Courtney–that’s one more conversation with her than you’ve had with me, you know? And I’m totally not saying that to be a total bitch and all, why didn’t you email me????
The question is easily on the other foot here, BFP. Why didn’t you email me? My personal email address has been unchanged for almost five years now, and you can always email me through my site. You’ve changed your email address since the last time we’ve spoken.
In addition, Courtney reached out to me. She came to me with a project she asked if I wanted to contribute to. Yesterday, I got a call from a radio station, who also asked me if I wanted to work with them on a segment. I’m just busy. That isn’t to say that you aren’t – we all are – but I’ve definately been too focused on my current workload to do anything but receive and respond. I’m not currently pitching/reaching at the moment.
Anyway, I started engaging over at Lisa’s, see you there.
February 26th, 2009 at 7:24 am #
Latoya, I was *saying* exactly what you said. that we *both* could’ve reached out. that there were other factors, etc etc etc. I’ve been too burned out to reach out. I’m saying that there’s reasons, I recognize all of those reasons, and I’m SO not sitting judgement. I’m just saying that we (as in you, other women going in the direction you are going, other women going in the direction I am going etc) have so much potential.
That’s all I’m saying.
February 26th, 2009 at 10:39 am #
Thanks BFP, Latoya, Renee and everyone for taking the time to explain how you felt.
I have to say like Aaminah I was confused and surprised by the WOC blow-up over this post. I appreciate that people have broken down what hurt them b/c I understand much better what’s going on now.
Apart from blogging for a small Canadian feminist blog and now Racialicious, I haven’t been a participant really in the blog wars. But I just wanted to say that when BFP’s blog went down last year, I was totally and utterly devastated. As someone who was struggling so much in the white feminist blogosphere world, it was truly heartbreaking to see how much that world had hurt someone as fierce as BFP and who I admired so much. It’s horrifying to me that that could happen again via something like this blow-up, and I’m very heartened to see how people are taking initiative to try and sort this out.
The idea that Latoya may be selling out to the white/mainstream blogosphere or letting herself get “tokenised” doesn’t read for me because Latoya isn’t using guest stints on Feministe or the broad coverage Racialicious gets to make mad cash, or even establish herself as pre-eminent WOC blogger. (as we all know we do this stuff because as the WOC we are we need to fight this fight, not because it’s paying out bills)
Latoya does what she does in the way that she does because she has found it is the best way to get her message out to as many people as possible.
I identify as a radical WOC and am more of a justice person than a reform person, but at the same time as a writer/blogger/critic I just want my message to go as far as possible. (does that make me not a radical? i guess we can talk about this on lisa’s blog)
I didn’t grow up in a home that was all WOC, rah rah rah! My mumma (who is white) still can’t accept that I’m a WOC. And so many of the radical folks I met early in my journey did not want to engage with me, did not want to talk to me, b/c they just saw me as a sell-out or token.
I’m never gonna reach the girls who were as lost as I was if I only engage with other POCs. NOT of course that I am saying it is wrong to only want to be with POCs/WOCs. I do very much understand that impulse. But I think that, similar to Latoya, my life experiences inform who I want to reach out to, and who I want to reach out to does not know about the RWOC blogosphere.
I do think it’s hurtful to ever say that another WOC is a “token.” People make their choices based on whatever byzantine complex life experiences they have had. So to judge that without knowing their whole back story is cruel, and harmful to the movement in general to create a world where WOC can just be who they damn well are.
We gotta employ so many different strategies to make that world. I’m in solidarity with anyone whose trying to make that world, however they’re trying to do that, however they identify.
See y’all over at Lisa’s!