I’ve got so many mixed feelings about today (the day George said goodbye!). It’s rather amusing to me how much GWB was a part of my radicalization as a woman of color. I’ve always thought swinging more to the left was all about going to university and being surrounded by other radical women of color. Well, that was absolutely a huge part of it–but upon reflection–GWB was a big part of it too.
How do I know? I laughed with W* today as I thought that starting at 12 today–I may actually be able to throw away the fear that my blog will act as marvelous evidence against me in a Gitmo hearing.
But more seriously–I can remember almost the exact moment when I looked at W* and declared in all my naive earnestness–but me being a liberal…me not wanting a war…that’s because I *love* America!
I used to express my love for the U.S. in almost the exact way that Obama and so many others have talked about–*making things better*–the *desire* to make things better. To make America great by extending compassion and humanity rather than violence.
It’s remarkable that I’ve changed from that position to one that questions the basic existence of a nation/state. All in eight years. The one good thing that came from GWB’s presidency is that hope. If I could change my basic philosophy so radically in eight years–who else could?
Could Obama be the catlyst for pushing right leaning, violence supporting U.S. citizens into the arms of an pseudo-anarchist, anti-violence loving wanna be Buddhist? Stranger things have happened, no?
What are your reflections on the last eight years? How have you changed? What has been GWB’s role in that change? What do you think/hope will be the course for the upcoming years?
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January 20th, 2009 at 8:18 am #
I was actually thinking about this the other day too, how much GWB has had an impact on me. GWB was the first president I was really aware of politically; I was, what, 12 when he got elected, just turned 13 when he was sworn in? I was wondering how much of my deep cynicism about, well, the world and politics and humanity in general was born of being a Bush-era adolescent, of having the person in charge of my country confirm for me at every step every dark suspicion of my teen angst with that stupid, stupid, shit-eating grin.
and also, how much of it comes from being 13 and in Manhattan on 9/11 – not so much the day itself because as awful as it was, senseless violence was something I, not understood maybe, but had heard of before, at least, and also, NYC rallied to that cause in a way that made me believe in people. But the way it was used, over and over through the next eight years, as a justification for so many things I didn’t believe in by people who weren’t there while NYC itself remained as liberal as ever (there are a lot of contenders, obviously, but definitely in the top 5 of my FUCK YOU, BUSH moments on a symbolic level was his using NYC to host the RNC in 2004, GOD WHAT AN ASSHOLE. nope, not over it). Obviously, the things he did are worse than the rhetoric he & others used to justify them, but on a gut-emotional level a big thing I hate him for is using a tragedy of my city to scare people into going along with him. It still makes me so fucking sick.
but like you, my philosophy/outlook has also gradually radicalized, I guess, over the past 8 years, and broadened. one of these days if I get up the courage I should really do a post about what my feminism looked like 4 years ago when I started reading blogs. I say “if I get up the courage” because hot damn I cringe so bad looking back at how enlightened I thought I was while simultaneously thinking, oh well, obviously I’m against racism but it’s not something I need to think about/that intellectually interests me, so I don’t need to read about it (told you it was bad). Now I am not going to say I am mentally where I should be with that, but the fact that writing those words makes me want to go bury myself in shame I like to think is some indicator of growth on my part, as is the fact that never again will I type the words, “well, I can see how you might think this is racist, but I don’t think s/he meant it that way” (yeah it’s a really good thing I didn’t start blogging till recently). I’ve gone from having various opinions that were pro or anti to being comfortable with questioning things – marriage, gender, the purpose of school, the criminal justice system, capitalism, and, yes, borders/nation-states.
And yeah, I have also gone from saying “I am a liberal because I love my country” to saying, “well… what does it mean to love my country, why should I love my country more than any other country in the world, shouldn’t it matter more to me that people everywhere have more justice/opportunities/etc. than that we’re on top of the opportunities heap, if I am going to love people I’ve never met shouldn’t I love them just as much if they aren’t from here?” I literally don’t understand the idea of loving one’s country anymore, and it confuses me that I ever thought I did.
January 20th, 2009 at 8:38 am #
“I may actually be able to throw away the fear that my blog will act as marvelous evidence against me in a Gitmo hearing.”
Sad, isn’t it ~ that we American citizens fear disapearing into Gitmo? Now the British government is going to start monitoring every email that gets sent in the country. “To fight crime” they say. Hah! Whatever. Gitmo!
January 20th, 2009 at 10:48 am #
It’s strange. Today I feel less shame in expressing my moderate, gray views. I feel that being in the middle can now be acknowledged as a positive testimony to strength, not a weak position of indecision. I feel more able to say that I want to work with people to make things better, to build not destroy.
“You will be judged on what you build, not what you destroy.”
A lot of that relates to me right now.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:48 am #
Yep, I was only 12 when GWB bcame President. Obviously a lot has changed since then, and it’s hard to say exactly what was GWB’s doing. Living in England, GWB obviously had less of an impact on my life than on the life of a person in America. My “political life” began with Tony Blair’s election (a few month before I trned 9). There was a lot of hope flying around that things were going to be different after 18 years of incompetent, bigoted Tories and even though I didn’t understand the issues much, I picked up on it. As my understanding of the issues grew, and that sense of hope faded all over the country, I became political in a eaningful sense. I can remeber realising at about the age of eleven that neither of the major UK parties really cared much about human rights. This was when I was talking to a nun who wrked with Somalian refugees. She talked about how they were treated so despicably by the Labour government (their evidence of being tortured/persecuted were ignored comletely, they were incarcerated for no reason, there had been cases of them being deported back to the wrong country because of “clerical errors”) and then when I said something about how I wasn’t going to vote Labour lie my parents when I grew up, she said I had to, because the Tories would make it even worse. And that was when I realised that partisan politics was corrupt and immoral.
Iraq was instrumental in turning me from a reluctant believer in Just War Theory to a believer in non-violence. The other big thing was learning more about Israel/Palestine stuaion (although, in fairness GWB didn’t START that, just carried on funding the despicable things that happen there.) Also, becoming very close friends with a girl wo grew up in the middle east also made me a) less racist b) more aware of racism in general, and racism in UK and US foreign policy in particular.
January 20th, 2009 at 5:13 pm #
i’m about Isabel’s age and I think she captured it well – growing up in the Bush era contributed in large part to my misanthropic, suspicious orientation. and as a person from ny, i’ve often remarked on how weird and fake the dynamic was of right wingers suddenly becoming chest-beating “champions” for a left-leaning city synonymous with minorities and queers; the cynical manipulation of a crisis for the war effort by people who weren’t remotely close to it had quite an impact.
January 20th, 2009 at 7:47 pm #
I’m so with you on this. I mean, what I’m working with in school, and discovering the feminist/womanist/radical womyn of color blogospheres, certainly have played major parts. But the role played by GWB is unmistakable in radicalizing my politics and driving me towards the path I am now on. Iraq, and the actions taken in-country to “support” the war on terror illustrated for me better than reading history books just how fucked up things can get without vigilance.
January 21st, 2009 at 3:05 pm #
can I just say how astonished I am that there are so many young women reading my blog? I feel like a dried up old crone right now!!! You were TWELVE when Bush was elected????? I was *26* expecting my second child!!!!! hahaha.
I must throw a little bit of condesending motherish sort stuff out there–I am SO happy, sososososo happy that so many of you are at the points you are at at such a young age. I think it really shows how advanced and smart the younger generation is compared to even my generation–I mean, at 20, I was still trying to figure out how to make a man wear a condemn (do I beg, or do I plead??) and had NO idea of intentionality or purpose or being deliberate about my ideas, my feminism, my activism–I was flipping burgers at the local family resturant and politely refusing to get drunk at night with the guys and that was about the extent of things!
So, I am so so so so happy to see that you all are so deep thinking and reflective.
Anyway, having said all that…it’s really interesting to me how many people have said that regionalism actually played some part in the development in their politics–i’ve been told by a lot of people that they feel almost jealous of me because of how much i love michigan–and they say it as if it’s an odd thing to love where you live–but I think it’s a lot less uncommon than they would like to believe–and it makes me wonder how much regionalized trauma, like 9-11, post-industrialization, flooding, etc, has to do with putting a *voice* to that regionalized love (aka, love of community). That it’s easier for people who only *have* the piece of land they stand on to see how beautiful and amazing that peice of land and the people standing next to them really are.
January 21st, 2009 at 3:08 pm #
Sad, isn’t it ~ that we American citizens fear disapearing into Gitmo? Now the British government is going to start monitoring every email that gets sent in the country. “To fight crime” they say.
The *one* thing I am really hopeful and excited about by the obama administration is that he has emphasized and even taken steps today to make transparncy and accountability the center peices of his administration. I am praying and hoping that means that spying on anti-war groups and other anti-violence groups stop, and that the right to speak really *does* get the respect and honor it deserves (thinking of his poet laureates opening poem)…we’ll have to wait and see. I hoping–and crossing my fingers–but not counting on too much…
And can I just say, DEAR GOD, britian wants to read all incoming emails??????
January 21st, 2009 at 3:11 pm #
that’s really interesting lisa–sounds like–you feel like you can relax? Like there isn’t a big ass stick of death hanging over your head?
I’m not quite that trusting yet–I don’t have moderate views at all–but I do hope that my fear of expressing them will be able to take a back seat for a while. That I can trust that my right to speak is protected and honored.
We’ll wait and see. I’m too emo to be that trusting. You were a cheerleader weren’t you???? :p
January 30th, 2009 at 1:09 pm #
Iwas also 12 when he was “elected”… Though I was already left-leaning (had read emma goldman and decided I was an anarchist- though now I’m much more admiring of lucy parsons and ella baker than goldman). My father let me choose who he voted for and I chose nader
and again, now I am beyond being annoyed with nader’s megalomania and wayyyy more down with mckinney and clemente!
I def thing the regionalism had a huge part to do w my radicalization… I’m from Buffalo (rust belt pride!) And I couldn’t help but see the effect of neoliberalism and anti-working class policies… There is something about reading history a certain way- your history, the history of your city, your family, that is so radical. The history-book history in school just infuriated me, but I often got alternate readings from my father about the history of colonialism from my parents land (pakistan) and artificial constructions of nationalism and religion… So much so that I sought it out myself w zinn and galeano, etc… And 9/11 too, but for me that was being a 14 year old muslim girl…